[ yesterday's [ ♥ ] feelings ]

 im falling apart
im barely breathing with a broken heart

 im done 
see ya.

 well im really upset right now and decided to write in here
i havent in forever.. but i think i need to collect my thoughts
i had a really shitty day today
i feel like sometimes no matter how much you give to people its doesnt matter
people will take and take and never give.

it sucks to think ill put so much into an effort for what.. so that u can walk all over me?
i feel like i have to try and be you friend.. since when did this happen?
it sucks :( i feel like slowly but surely ill lose the people that mean most to me
and that hurts but do they even care? i highly doubt that
to know that you picked some random friend over me.. hurts
i suppose had we not all discussed doing it together id understand
i suppose had you been really close to this random id understand
i suppose if you were seeing/dating this guy id understand
but not even close.. simply because he liked the team.. yes understandable
maybe i am overreacting but that really hurt when i heard 
if the tables were turn how would you feel?
had i tickets to the tigers game and we discussed going to the game so excitedly 
and then when the time came i decided id bring someone who didnt follow baseball
and someone who really liked the tigers over you.. im sure youd be hurt
and maybe if this wasnt the first time i felt this exclusion then okay
but its not its constant now. id do anything for you and thats good for you
as long as i keep sticking up for you and being on your side its okay
but in return.. whatever
well maybe i shouldnt put in that effort.. whatever
maybe next time i drive by his house i wont tell you i saw him
or i wont go and "stalk" him with you cause no one else will support it
maybe i wont defend him or you when people question what your thinking and what hes about
next time someone talks shit about you i wont help you or give them dirty looks in the hallway
maybe next time someone calls you a dirty cheating whore ill agree
i dont even know what else to say i feel like shit and just dont know what to do anymore..
i think i give up.. im done trying i just want to go away now.

and you .. you're concerned about the end of us being my lack of friend time
and im concerned itll be your excessive friend time
all you do is party now 
and its okay for me to push my plans aside for you
but you for me?! neverr.. how could you miss a party and outing with friends.. its unheard of
is that really fair to me? ive given up so much for you.. enough to cause the previous paragraph
so what happens when its over? 
theres nothing i wouldnt do for you and yet you make me feel like all i do is take
i suppose but i only ask for what a normal person asks when in a relationship.

im sick of giving everything to people and them being so unappreciated 
if i gave the same attitude i wonder what would happen..
guess ill have to try to find it.

how people can be so cruel?
why she is so depressed lately?
why she is crying on her birthday? :(

if it hadn't worked out this way
would it even have mattered?
i just want to do something right again.

I really like what you’ve done to me
I can’t really explain it
I’m so into you

If I Could Take It All Back I Would
I'd Take It Back To The Days
Where Our Love Was All Good
When I Used To Have You
On The Bed, Legs Spread